Communication Styles and Skills Evaluation

This week I had my mother and a former colleague evaluate my communication styles and skills. What surprised me the most is that everyone's evaluation, including my own, suggested that my listening style is people-oriented. This was a surprise because I am not very trusting of people, and it tends to take me a while to form new relationships. However, I am glad that the results showed that I am empathetic toward others' feelings. This will help me to communicate more effectively with others because I will be able to treat them the way they want to be treated.

Two Insights

1. How we perceive ourselves effects our communication

 

If we believe that our self-efficacy is low in communication, we avoid situations where face to face communication takes place (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). Our beliefs and values also effect how we communicate with others. For example, if someone believes that speaking directly is important they will value this communication style in others.

 

2. Past experiences effect how you perceive others

 

Personal experiences determine how you perceive new people and communicate with them. For example, if you had bad experiences with a former teacher, you might respond negatively to someone you meet who happens to be a teacher. Or, you may avoid communicating with that person altogether.

 

Both of these insights cause me to reflect on my perceptions of myself and my past experiences to enhance my communication skills with individuals in my professional and personal life. Understanding how I feel about myself and my communication has helped me to notice areas for improvement. Furthermore, eliminating personal biases based on past experiences will help me to avoid making judgements and having negative perceptions of new people, which could hinder communication.



Strategies For Effective Communication

My communication with Different Groups

After thinking about the ways I communicate, I realize that I do communicate differently with people from different groups and other cultures. As a teacher, I communicate with my students by using language to give information. I am always giving them directions to follow. When I communicate with family and friends, I use language to express feelings. When I communicate with people from different cultures, I focus on my use of high language.

Strategies for Effective Communication:

1. Use Lower Abstract Language
I believe that my communication with children would be more effective if I used lower abstract language. Children need very specific details in order to complete tasks successfully. Furthermore, they depend on direct language to learn about the world around them. I will try to avoid euphemisms to make sure they have a clear understanding of the verbal message I am giving them.

2. Use the Platinum Rule
I plan on using the Platinum Rule when communicating with family and friends. Because I know them well, I can treat them the way I think they want to be treated (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011). I will be able to respond to their messages in an effective and appropriate way because my focus is on their feelings and not my own.

3. Use Adaptation
I can communicate with people from other cultures more effectively by adapting to their form of communication. If I adjust my behavior to meet the expectation of others, they will feel comfortable communicating openly with me. I will also be enhancing my listening skills as I receive their messages to make the appropriate adjustments as the communication continues.

Reference:

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Nonverbal Communication (On T.V.)

The show I chose to watch to complete this blog assignment was Victorious on Nickelodeon. The episode I viewed had two plots involving different sets of characters.

Assumptions Based on Nonverbal Communication:

The first plot seemed to revolve around three females in a car driving a long distance. Based on physical appearance, I assume the girls are teenagers. I assume that they are all friends because they have moments when they point, frown, smile, and comfort (pat on the back) each other. One friend seems frustrated throughout the episode because she frowns, throws food out the window, and folds her arms while rolling her eyes. Another friend seems clueless as she twirls her hair and hunches her shoulders constantly. She is also sad throughout the show which can be seen by her crying. The third friend seems to be optimistic and empathetic because she continues to smile at her frowning friend and pats her other friend on the back who begins to cry. I believe the girls were on their way to a famous person’s house as they encountered rain while on the road.

The second plot seemed to involve a girl being asked out by a boy she admires. She seemed nervous when the boy approached her because she would not make eye contact and she continued to back away from him. I assume he asked her out on a date because the next scene shows her frantically trying to prepare dinner. She looks bewildered as she stuffs an uncooked turkey in the microwave. As she waits for the boy’s arrival another boy shows up and it seems that he heard about her date. He takes her in his arms and begins to dance with her. The girl’s date arrives and the two guys begin to fight over her. They push each other and put their hands in each other’s faces. Then a third boy arrives with flowers in his hands. All three boys begin to literally fight over her by throwing punches and pushing each other. The girl becomes so overwhelmed that she jumps up from the couch and rushes downstairs to get a man that I am assuming is her father. But, as she is going downstairs the boys stop fighting and hide behind a couch. I think that all the boys are playing a trick on the girl and none of them really wanted to date her.

Analysis of Assumptions after listening to Verbal Communication:

Most of my assumptions about the girls in the first plot were confirmed when I watched the show with sound. However, I was able to understand why the girls went on the trip. One of the girls was sad because her favorite actress died. She wanted to visit her house to pay tribute to her. The other two girls agreed to go on the trip, but they had no idea that it was two hours away. It turns out that the girl who seemed frustrated was not the other two girls’ friend. She just wanted to go to the house of a dead person so she agreed to drive.

The assumptions I had about the second plot were not confirmed once I watched the show with sound. The girl had been spreading rumors about the boy that they were dating so that other boys would fight over her. The boy she made the rumors about is actually her friend. The boy then decided to make her words come to life by pretending that he liked her and getting the other two boys to fight over her. As I suspected the boys were playing a trick on her to teach her a lesson.

Insights Gained:

From this exercise, I learned that nonverbal communication can give you some indication of the message others are trying to convey. I could see when people were happy, sad, confused, and angry. However, verbal communication allowed me to understand why people were feeling these emotions. Paying attention to verbal and nonverbal communication is what makes a person a competent communicator because both forms of communication complement each other.

Competent Communication

  When thinking of individuals who communicate effectively, I immediately think of my administrator at work. She has the ability to exhort others and motivate them to do their jobs. She is also effective in assigning tasks and correcting people in love. She understands how to say things so that others are not offended. The times when she has had to correct me she has done it in a way that motivates me to be better. Just when I am feeling discouraged, she has the words to encourage me to continue my work with young children and their families. What I value the most about her communication is her ability and willingness to listen to her staff and implement their ideas. As a result, I feel like a valued team member of the early childhood program. When I talk to my friends and families, I realize that they do not have the same experiences at work that I do. I am appreciative of my administrator’s effective communication skills even more.

I would like to model some of my communication skills after my administrator in certain situations. I would like to have the skill of communicating with others without being offensive. I believe that there is a way to talk to others without hurting their feelings. Sometimes, I can be very blunt and end up hurting others. It is never my intention to cause harm or hurt their feelings. Therefore, I would like to learn how to express my thoughts in a way that they are honest, yet respectful.